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You Know It’s Time For A Site Redesign When…

murdok
By murdok
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Sometimes it’s hard to tell when it’s time to redesign your site. Sometimes it’s not. I asked readers to send in their funniest signs for a redesign and got over 80 responses… Enjoy!

You know it’s time for a site redesign when…

  • visitors ask if it’s heritage listed
  • it’s voted site of the month at geocities
  • pat buchanan says it looks ‘cool’
  • you get invited to audition it for ‘extreme makeover’
  • even you have to get really drunk before you’ll make it your home page
  • my mother in law likes it
  • a google search on your domain name generates a list of trauma counsellors
  • your guestbook is filled with sympathy messages
  • search engine spiders try to gnaw off their own legs rather than visit your site

    and without a doubt…you know it’s time for a site redesign when

  • hackers leave the site better than when they found it!

    ian backs
    http://www.ianbacks.com

    1. When you site has a naked chick on it with the words ‘1253 days since you’ve been hacked!!!’ Oh, then some guys in suits, FBI, stop by trying to find the owner of the #1 warez site on the net!
    2. When your custom 404 page has broken images, why are we seeing your 404 page, hmm…
    3. When you keep having to update the date last updated by a year. You then get fed up with it and hook up a script to keep it always todays date 🙂
    4. Do any of these links work???
    5. Why doesnt that cgi work, perhaps it still has a directory setting from the old web server. The day before, you saw the old server in the museum.
    6. You write a link checker and you think its not working while testing on your site. It only goes one url deep and then reports all 404’s!
    7. Your guest book has links to a thousand of the ‘better’ sites on the net. You click on one, and you get 15 pop up windows that won’t go away.
    8. You decide to increase business by working on your site, and you find that every page is redirecting to your competitor’s site.
    9. You finally fix the password bit on the admin area to find that there are 100 messages from clients requesting info on your products, the problem, they’re dated 2 years ago!!!
    10. You click on the link to your main product demo, the prized php encryption script, and the whole script displays before your eyes. Oh, the web server no longer supports .php3 extensions… 🙂

    -Greg
    http://www.supercgis.com/site_searcher/

    1) Site is best viewed at 640 X 480 16 color
    2) Site is compatible with Windows 3.11
    3) You click a link and it asks you to inset cassette tape 2 (gotta love the Vic20)
    4) Web stats are reported by Atari
    5) Your online FREE games are the NEW Pong, IN COLOR !!
    5) CSS means Can’t See Scripts
    6) “This site was designed using Microsoft FrontPage” (OK, that’s just a Macromedia thing)
    7) News clips read Bill Gates opens Microsoft headqurters in Washington
    8) Site positioning refers to using scroll bars on the windows.
    9) Your porn banners all display 70’s girls in full blown bellbottoms (Oh yeah, they’re back in style now)
    10) Your rollovers have rolled over and died.

    Cheers, that was fun.
    Harvey Scovell
    http://www.natgtelecom.com

  • That large site counter on your homepage is still on two numbers after five years. And it’s working!
  • The small type includes “Copyright 1997” on almost every page. And that’s accurate, too!
  • A friend’s response to a reciprocal site link is: “No. Only after I’ve added a legal disclaimer to mine.”
  • Your “Free To Serve” ISP sends you an email that asks you to improve your site’s design to meet the “standard” set by others.
  • Your site is still not listed on the dmoz. after ten years of monthly submission. In fact, it’s not listed anywhere!
  • After your business upgrades to a T3 line, your site’s homepage still takes over five minutes to download. But, hey, your Marketing Director really likes that video…
  • A hippy friend (in a rainbow, tie-dye shirt and lime green jeans) says; “Man, your site’s color scheme is way too busy”
  • Your site didn’t win an annual award from IAMWD (International Association of Webmasters and Designers)

    OK. The last one was really cruel. But I hope you laughed (-; !

    Regards
    Travis Noakes
    Fitter and healthier at http://www.bodyiq.co.za !

    You know its time for a site redesign when:

  • your site recieves the winning draw for Shirley Jackson’s eLottery.
  • your grandmother has a screen shot of it in her photo album
  • your 8 yr old nephew refers to it as “So 1997”
  • it’s running off your Apple IIe server in the basement.
  • that old Lycos dog won’t even fetch it.
  • you’re contstantly getting emails from high school students who used it as a redesign project for class.
  • hotdog won’t even let you run their banner on it.
  • www.mytrailerpark.com linked to it.

    Enjoyed your newsletter!
    Kerri Hewett

    Time to redesign your site when:

    1 – Your intro text states: “Please use the hot links below to navigate our site”
    2 – The opening sentence on your site reads: “Welcome to our homepage”
    3 – Your “shopping cart” links to a static mailto form that the user must fill out, including the items they wish to purchase and then input sub-total, shipping, grand total prior to clicking a lovely, chunky “submit” button
    4 – Your title tags all read:
    Home page
    About Us page
    Product page
    contact Us page
    … and so on.
    5 – a tie:
    a) Your site is made up of only pdf files
    b) Your site has no actual text (HTML text) but is only scanned in images, each page… the WHOLE page… everything – someone has taken your brochure or print materials, scanned each page, and uploaded as is… one huge image after another. EEK!

    Kelly Warner
    Cyberlaunch
    http://www.cyberlaunch.net/

    10. The banner ads on your site look better than the webpage they’re on.
    9. Your claim to fame is the longest-running holder of thetop spot at http://www.webpagesthatsuck.com.
    8. Visitors to your site have affectionately renamed it “Area 404”.
    7. Your site has more frames than an optometrist’s office.
    6. Your “get the latest Flash Player” link takes you to Flash version 3.0.
    5. Your homepage consists of one big image in a body tag, and the image takes more than 10 seconds to download on DSL.
    4. You’re using server-side image maps.
    3. The basic color scheme of your site is “Netscape Gray” and “Default-link Blue.”
    2. Your Web designer thinks “Section 508” refers to a clause in her stock options contract.

    And the #1 way to know it’s time to redesign your site:

    1. You have a big stamp on the bottom of the homepage that says “Date Last Updated: August 1, 1995.”

    Martin Schecter
    http://www.juxtadigital.com

    For your “You know it’s time for a site redesign when …”

  • you try to change an e-mail address on your site your IP host pops up a message “Why bother?”
  • you try to change an e-mail address on your site and a message pops up ” the IP host you’re searching for is no longer active”
  • your IP hosts blocks your access for 2 days while the TLC’s “While you were out” crew, works on your site.
  • your homepage has yellowed with age
  • You open it up and find Jimmy Hoffa’s remains.

    Hope you enjoy

    Carroll Cameron
    N. B., Canada

  • Your <blink> tag just flickers
  • Your marquee text refuses to scroll
  • People actually start purchasing the x-10 camera from your pop-up ad
  • Jakob Nielson refers to your site as “Great Design”

    Dave Gillem
    Sr. Web Designer
    Sabre Holdings

    “…webmaster resumes exceed 1000 per day.”

    Vance Lee Schowalter
    Northern Light Computing

    “Your site design has been copy by a french webdesigner”

    Cordialement

    Eryck Ponseel
    Directeur Associ
    www.1-ter-net.com

  • The button on the bottom of your home page says download Netscape 2.0 Now
  • Your FAQ has dialup instructions for Trumpet Winsock
  • Your home page says Best viewed at 640×408 – 14.4k

    Bill Mezian

  • When designers go to visit just to see what code looked like in the old days.
  • When it’s listed in the national registry of historical places.

    Bob R. Young, Jr.
    http://www.computertree.com/

    Time for a site redesign when …

  • you think a webmaster is the head spider
  • you have a banner at the top of your page saying “don’t miss tonights new season of MASH”
  • the telephone company changed the area code of your published number years ago
  • when every page says under construction
  • you think refresh is a new soap
  • when a map on your page shows open land for sale when in reality it is now downtown chicago

    Shane Herrell
    Refreshing Designs

  • When you stumble across a site that is so poorly designed and confusing that you swear you’ll email the webmaster to complain about it, only to find out it’s yours…

    Regards,
    Jay Villaverde
    http://www.allnaturalalternatives.com

  • Your Home Page has a banner at the top advertising Enron.
  • The “windows 3.1 users click here” button.

    Thanks!

    T.R. Moore
    http://www.wadayaneed.com

  • When all you links are 404 error messages.

    Richard Garcia

  • They talk about “backwards compatible” and they list your site as reference.
  • The search engines give up on listing you in their directories.
  • Search engines stop checking your site for updates.

    Darcy Ryan
    http://www.atcreative.com

  • Your page has more neon and flashing things than the Las Vegas strip

    Chris Knight

    You know it’s time to redesign your site when:

  • The Special Events or Upcoming Events page has historical interest
  • The hit counter only goes up to three digits then starts again
  • Your free downloads page has programmes offered in OS2
  • The online chat feature only works on pulse modems
  • You ommitted anything over 64k as being “too Memory hungry”
  • Your active links are all to text only sites

    Hope these make you smile, really enjoy Murdok and get lots of good ideas from it – please keep up the good work!

    Best Regards
    A S (Stephen) Clarke
    www.Zuks-Un-Ltd-Uk.freeservers.com

  • Your web stats tracker gets lost.
  • Your HOME page is condemned.
  • Your neighbors on the same ISP complain that you have lowered their property values.
  • Search words turn into search parties.

    Cat West

    You Know It’s Time For A Site Redesign When…

  • Your site can only be identified by it’s next of kin (the webmaster in this case)
  • Your kids are too embarassed to even look at your site
  • he html marque seems to be slowing down and suffering from old age
  • Search engines stop indexing your site for new content

    Hopefully at least one will be published!

    Many thanks,
    John Millard

  • It announces you great new millennium offers
  • It has download times for 14400 modems
  • It has a link to download Spry Mosaic
  • The home URL points to a text page headed “Index”

    Simon T Nicholls
    http://www.biz-epeople.com

    When the home page has many helpful hints, including “How to be Y2K Compliant.”

    Tim Hoehn
    First Communications Group, Inc.

    You know it’s time for a site redesign when…

    1. You still have those yellow “GoTo.com Search Boxes” on your site.
    2. Your site is best viewed at 640 x 480 screen resolution.
    3. Your Meta Tag has the following:
    <META NAME=”GENERATOR” CONTENT=”Microsoft Frontpage Express”>

    Teddy Lim
    Manila, Philippines

    Your copyright date references “all rights protected 1966-67” 🙂

    Best and Warmest,

    Mike Blazedell
    http://MindHarbor.com

    you have new users at work, but micrsoft no longer issues licenses for the FrontPage version you are using, duh!

    Marilyn Schaefer
    Borough Clerk
    Borough of Madison

    you still have a y2k countdown timer!

    -Lee Weaver
    American-Firefighter.com
    http://www.american-firefighter.com

  • Visitors close your sites window to actually look at the POP Under ads.
  • The only search engine that indexes your site is Project Guntenberg

    Peter Reilly

    Your hit counter starts moving backward.

    Lorrie Sarafin
    http://www.lorriesarafin.com

    You know it’s time for a site redesign when…

    1. Search engine spiders leave cobwebs on your site.
    2. Your unvisited links are also gray.
    3. Your background reminds visitors of an acid trip.
    4. The text can be easily read by someone with 20/100 eyesight.
    5. Site visitors enjoy popcorn and Joo Joo beans while your index page loads.

    In His Service, Under His Grace, By His Love,

    Donna Verne
    Altared Lives Urban Gospel Radio

  • Your LAST UPDATED notation at the bottom of all your web pages says December 31, 1999.
  • All your links point to ftp sites.
  • The search engine you use on your site is Infoseek.
  • You forgot to change your counter code when your counter code was updated and it’s been saying 10,000 visitors for three years.
  • You discover that the email address you posted on all your web pages was the one you used three ISPs ago.
  • Your links to NEW articles on your site point to articles you posted in 1998.
  • Your download links to software point to software created for Windows 3.1.

    Tracy Marks
    http://www.windweaver.com/

    The Hits *don’t* “just keep coming”…

    Alice J Widtfeldt

    ‘When your web host puts an “Under Construction” banner on your site’

    Yours in success;

    Randy Justason
    http://moneywonders.bizhosting.com

  • You know its time for a site redesign when your site has been online for 2 yrs and your hit counter still reads less than 10 visitors.
  • You know its time for a site redesign when you can’t even bear to view your own pages.

    Sincerely
    Robin Arnold

    Can’t get enough of Murdok

    You move your mouse across the page and kick up dust bunnies.

    You know it’s time to redesign you site when your webcounter hasn’t been reset since 1995.

    kdarling

  • Your site is best viewed on a 640 x 480 screen resolution
  • It leaves the author of Web Sites That S**k speechless
  • You promise that your site will soon be “millennium bug” safe
  • The only advice you receive when asking for a web site review is “Hit Delete”
  • You get sympathy e-cards from visitors
  • The numeral 9 appears in your copyright date
  • The only visuals on your site consist of clip art
  • Your site is listed in “nostalgia” directories – and you’re an accountant
  • Your idea of a Meta Tag involves the metal tag on your pet’s collar
  • You don’t understand why you need Key Words when you’re not a locksmith

    Best Regards,

    Kerry Lorette
    http://www.mplex.com.au

    You know it’s time for a site redesign when…

  • Your “Under construction” sign has a quarter inch of dust on it
  • Your hit counter just went from 99999999 to 00000001
  • All the external links on your “Jimmy’s guide to Windows 3.1” page are broken
  • Your web host actually supports the gopher protocol (because your site really needs it)
  • The footer on every page says “copyright Jimmy Shmitz 94-95”
  • Your site has a Y2K Bug

    okay, enough wasted time 😉

    this is my current site
    http://www.toyssexshop.com

    If your phone number begins with a word prefix….(Raymond 4-601).

    Sign of the old days.

    LOL

    Trudy Boisvert
    Fixtures Etc
    http://www.fixturesetc.com

    You know your site needs a redesign when…

    Directions to the only server that will host it include “turn off of the paved road”.

    Thanks for always trying to make Murdok better!

    Luke

    Your 404 error re-direct is permanently out to lunch!

    Patricia

    You know that your website is out of date

    1)When the surfers send you bills for their wasted time.
    2)When your only search engine hits come from those who keyed in “Worst Website”
    3)When your cat walks into the room and your home page animated gifs make him/her growl.

    Dan Laskowski
    http://musicinit.com

  • your animated email icon starts sending mail BACK
  • the bevels on your paintshop pro buttons are starting to crumble
  • someone writes to ask if you still work in FrontPage98

    kera
    http://www.time4somethingelse.com

    When people solicit you for freebies saying that they have been great fans of your line of clothing and hats for years and you make advanced technology tents and shelters.

    Stephen Jacura, President
    Pacific Environments Outdoor Research

    Claiming harassment, your rollovers don’t stop rolling, shouting crudely as they roll away.

    Leisa Hollrah
    SupplierLocator.com
    http://www.supplierlocator.com

  • You don’t recognize most of the people in the employee pictures in your “About Us” section of your site.
  • The page in your site with the most hits iis the “Error 404” page.
  • The person who did your last site design has since graduated from high school…and college…
  • More of your customers transactions or conducted over the phone, rather than the Web.
  • You still have an “Under Construction” animated GIF

    Douglas Potts
    http://www.dpottsconsulting.com

    Your Home page contains a link that reads, “Coming Soon: Our Y2K Compliance Statement.”

    Sue Bolander
    http://www.webworks7.com

    You know it’s time for a site redesign when…

  • date script says “Y2huh?”
  • your re-direct script says “Don’t Go There!”
  • your competitors post your banner on their site.
  • your visitors get LSD flashbacks.
  • search engine spiders wont dare to crawl your pages
  • father time expires before your page loads

    Oh, that was fun, THANKS!

    Take care,

    Kathy Block
    http://www.AmericanMedicalJobs.com

  • Your autoresponder is not Y2K compliant.
  • Not only are your LINKS expired but also the domain names that hosted them.
  • Your web’s IP Address is 1.1.1.1
  • Your site warns “Invalid Command” when you request a REFRESH.

    Tim Gebhart
    http://www.tri-tech.us

    you know it time for a new site when:

    1. your tally counter has been stuck on 9999 for at least six months
    2. Your boss tells you it time for a new site.
    3. You haven’t made that product you’re trying to sell for over a year
    4. Your web master works out of his bedroom and is still going to high school
    5. You read this list and score a perfect 100 YES

    Joe Brinn
    Oscoda Plastics, Inc.

    you know its time for a redesign when the cat mistakes your site for a litter box

    Janel Apps Ramsey
    Kahn Steel Co., Inc.

    Search engine spiders visit your site just for meal breaks.

    Maria A. Barnowl
    http://www.earthwild.net

    You still have a hit counter….and it still reads less than your age.

    Shane Swing
    http://www.keytagz.com

    Time to redesign when You got more than one mail telling You that Your site looks like porno site.

    Hlsningar
    http://www.programguiden.se

    1. Going to rotten.com automatically redirects to your site.
    2. Going to MarthaStewart.com automatically redirects to your site.
    3. A search on Google brings up the naked pics of your girlfriend that you forgot to remove from your server.
    4. You finally realize that the fancy five-minute multimedia Flash intro has reduced site traffic to zero.

    Visit http://www.planetdave.com for more fun stuff!!!

    -d

    You know it’s time for a site redesign when…

    your site still has a section named: “Martha Stewart’s Stock Tips”.

    John Wong

    you know it’s time you redesign your web site…

    when you do a keyword search for your site and you come up #12,619,472nd in the results of 1-10 of 12,619,472

    DLiguria

    “When your site appears in one of David Letterman’s Top Ten Lists.”
    Thank you,

    Todd Fariss
    http://www.digitalalchemy.net

    You Know It’s Time For A Site Redesign When…

  • people ask if it was a converted “Gopher site” (remember Gopher?)
  • people start talking like “yeah, those were the days”
  • your site appears on the Antiques Roadshow
  • you get a mail from my company 😉

    Well, that’s the best I could come up with, for now…
    I have had a couple of laughs at the “YKITFASRW” in your mail, thanks for that!

    Kind regards,

    Onno Karman
    http://webuildit.nl

    Visitors comment on the “retro” design of your site, … it was ultra
    modern when designed.

    cheri gillen
    http://curiouser.com

    We love hearing from our readers! Let us know what you think about recent articles and recent events. There’s a good chance you’ll wind up published! Send your thoughts to editors@https://murdok.org . Be sure to let us know which newsletter you’re writing in about. Write now!.

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