You can get into trouble if you come off as someone who uses praise just to get on another’s good side. That kind of praise is manipulative and should be avoided.
Here’s how you can sincerely praise people:
1. “I appreciate Jim because . . . .” The most important part of your praise is what comes after “because.” Explain the behavior that you appreciate, and be specific. If you say, “Jim, you did a good job, and I appreciate it,” your praise might appear hollow and insincere because it’s not specific. “Jim, you did a good job setting up my computer. I know you had other things to do, and I appreciate that you took the time to help me, and you did it with such a cheerful attitude.”
2. Do not veil criticism with praise. If you praise someone, and then criticize the person, all the words of praise were for naught. “Let’s see if we can get that behavior out of you more often.” It’s the criticism that the person will remember.
3. Look for opportunities to praise people. Plan for it! Don’t let a day go by without praising at least two or three people.
By the way, when you’re on the receiving end of praise, it’s important that you respond appropriately. Otherwise, the person giving you the praise may stop doing it. If you say, “No, I don’t really deserve it,” or try to deflect the compliment in another way, people may begin to think you don’t value their opinions. When someone praises you, it’s best to listen, acknowledge the compliment with your head and heart, and say “Thank you!”
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For more on the subject of how to be successful, read Zig’s popular book, “Success for Dummies,” published by IDG Books. It’s at your bookstore, and it’s also available from http://www.zigziglar.com.
