Once upon a time there were what were called “displaced homemakers.” If you’re too young to know what that phrase means, this article may be particularly helpful to you. It referred to women who were taking their first jobs in the workplace after having been home raising their children; generally speaking, because of divorce.
Now we’re seeing the trend reversed, and women are leaving the corporate world to return home to be with their children. (Some fathers too!)
The pace and the mindset are very different between these two worlds, though both include plenty of work! Here are some tips for adapting if you’re going back home.
1. Enjoy it!
Use this change to master change. There is only one thing you can control: your attitude. If you spend your time missing the things you may miss (adult interaction and intellectual stimulation), you’ll be missing your real life, in real time. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t have.
2. Switch Gears
You’ll move from the neocortex (the thinking brain), to the limbic brain, where the parenting instinct comes from. You may feel your “brain has turned to mush,” as you spend your days wiping bottoms, tears, oatmeal off the floor, and crayon marks off the walls. You’ll talk in simple sentences and repeat a lot, emoting a lot, teaching your child about emotional expression! And you’ll do a large number of routine things. That’s okay! Enjoy it. You’ll bounce right back to the Einstein-mode when it’s needed.
3. Gone are the deadlines and the pressure.
The world of children is slow, emotional, and in-the-moment. You will do harm to both the children and yourself if you try and run your run your home like a professional office, corporate department, or military post. Handle the children with your heart, and relax. Unlike the fleeting chance to make the big deal, the dishes will always be there.
4. Figure out what you’re working for.
Not money. Not a promotion. Not praise. You’re now working for a very different but meaningful purpose and there’s no one to “report” to. Explore this. It will serve you in good stead all your life.
5. Focus on what’s profound.
I did a needlework when was at home and I was sometimes overly concerned about keeping things perfect. It said: “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, For babies grow up, we learn to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, Dust, go to sleep, I’m rocking my baby, ’cause babies don’t keep.”
It goes very fast. Ask anyone who’s kids are grown.
And about the needlepoint .
6. Develop new interests for yourself.
It’s easy to get ‘lost’ in the mammoth tasks of running a home and full-time childcare. It is work that’s literally never done, and you never get to leave it behind you.
At the same time, there can be lots of waiting — waiting for the soccer practice to be over, waiting in the queue to pick up your child at school. Take up knitting or needlepoint. Bring along a book. Get some language tapes.
7. Enrichment.
Read the newspaper and find out what’s going on. Then plan activities for you and the kids: studying ducks and then going to the park to feed them; museums; parks and rec dept. activities; reading at the library; a tennis match at the college; a picnic on the River; sightseeing up the road a bit.
8. Plan adult activities for yourself.
If you remain at home alone all day with your child and don’t make new friends [smile] you will bore your child terribly [smile] and also put an undue burden on your husband when he gets home at night, expecting him to fulfill all your adult companionship needs. Plan a night out with the girls every now and then. Get a sitter during the day. Your child doesn’t need 100% of your intense interest 12 hours a day. Both of you need to have interests, friends, and activities – some together, some apart.
9. The volunteer world is waiting for your.
This is a chance to get out, be with other adults, give to the community, and develop new skills.
10. Watch the wardrobe and waistline.
Don’t start “letting yourself go.” Yes, it’s relaxing, but, as FlyLady says, put on a pair of shoes! Small children need snacks all the time and they burn calories you don’t. Those delicious peanut butter snacks can quickly get you into the next size jeans, and the next size jeans. It will be a new experience for you to be home all day right beside the refrigerator, and if your pantry’s stocked with potato chips and Oreos . well, you get the picture. Think ahead. Start out right.
Susan Dunn, MA, Marketing Coach,
http://www.webstrategies.cc. Marketing consultation,
implementation, website review, SEO optimization, article
writing and submission, help with ebooks and other
strategies. Susan is the author or How to Write an eBook
and Market It on the Internet. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc
for information and free ezine. Specify Checklist.
