Clear sentences are the building blocks of clear messages. Because customers use the information in your e-mail to decide or do something, they like concise, definite sentences. One common sentence error is run-on sentences. Run-ons are usually two or more sentences patched together with commas.
Revise these run-on sentences to make them into full sentences. Then check your answers. [Scoll down to see the answers]
1. Unfortunately, we do not have an e-mail support area for our
credit card accounts, we request that you contact our Card Products
Division at 800-555-9131.
2. Representatives are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, we sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
3. Thank you for choosing a Marksman vacuum cleaner, because I do not know your model number, I don’t know the exact nature of your plug/power cord problem.
4. It would be best if you took your ink-jet printer to an authorized dealer, perhaps the one you purchased it from can determine if there is a problem that can be corrected.
5. This is in response to your e-mail concerning FireFly smoke detectors, the FireFly photoelectric model 480 does not have battery back-up but should be vacuumed regularly to remove dust, dirt, and insects that can accumulate in the back of the detector.
6. Shut off the circuit breaker that provides electricity to that unit, place a screwdriver under the lip of the plug, and twist, this will move the plug off the pins of the detector.
7. I just tested your e-mail account and it is fine, an upgrade to the e-mail servers caused an unforeseen problem.
8. Please be patient as it may take 24 to 48 hours for some owners to respond, it will take more time if they are traveling.
9. Thank you for shopping at SuperToy, we sincerely appreciate your business and look forward to seeing you online again soon!
10. From the start page, you can continue an existing application, if your application has been submitted, you can add additional employers to your list.
ANSWERS to Mini-Quiz: Change Run-ons into Full Sentences
We’ve revised these run-on sentences to make them into full sentences. The words and punctuation in bold type show our revisions. In most cases, there is more than one correct way to change a run-on sentence into a full sentence, so your revisions may be different from these.
Any wrong answers? Chapter 3 – Write Clear, Strong Sentences in Clear, Correct, Concise E-Mail: A Writing Workbook for Customer Service Agents provides guidance on writing sentences that are easy for your customers to understand.
1. Unfortunately, we do not have an e-mail support area for our credit card accounts; therefore, we request that you contact our Card Products Division at 800-555-9131.
2. Representatives are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
3. Thank you for choosing a Marksman vacuum cleaner; however, because I don’t know your model number, I don’t know the exact nature of your plug/power cord problem.
4. It would be best if you took your ink-jet printer to an authorized dealer. Perhaps the one you purchased it from can determine if there is a problem that can be corrected.
5. This is in response to your e-mail concerning FireFly smoke detectors. The FireFly photoelectric model 480 does not have battery back-up but should be vacuumed regularly to remove dust, dirt, and insects that can accumulate in the back of the detector.
6. Shut off the circuit breaker that provides electricity to that unit, place a screwdriver under the lip of the plug, and twist. This will move the plug off the pins of the detector.
7. I just tested your e-mail account and it is fine; an upgrade to the e-mail servers caused an unforeseen problem.
8. Please be patient as it may take 24 to 48 hours for some owners to respond. It will take more time if they are traveling.
9. Thank you for shopping at SuperToy. We sincerely appreciate your business and look forward to seeing you online again soon!
10. From the start page, you can continue an existing application. If your application has been submitted, you can add additional employers to your list.
From Clear, Correct, Concise E-Mail: A Writing Workbook for Customer Service Agents by Marilynne Rudick and Leslie O’Flahavan, E-WRITE
Marilynne Rudick and Leslie O’Flahavan are partners in E-WRITE — http://www.ewriteonline.com, a training and consulting company in the Washington, D.C. area that specializes in online writing. Rudick and O’Flahavan are authors of the book Clear, Correct, Concise E-Mail: A Writing Workbook for Customer Service Agents.
Marilynne Rudick and Leslie O’Flahavan Answer Online Writing Questions: Click Here For Free Answers
