It was only a matter of time until somebody brought it up again. If Microsoft investors once loved Yahoo at $19 per share, they’re bound to get whiplash staring down the slutty, red-dressed vixen in distress at $12 per share. 
Graphing the last 48 hours, Yahoo’s stock looks like a silhouette of the Japanese coastline, where mountains crash straight into the sea. Unless you were under one of those rocks, you remember the buzzy and euphoric anticipation piggybacking on the aggressive hands of Microsoft. He would have her even if he had to take her, and then she hurt his feelings and he left. It was that kind of anticlimactic.
Back then—just this year—when money seemed realer and heavier than it does now, Microsoft showed up tall and rigid at Yahoo’s door with $33 per share and a big stupid grin. Though her stock had risen from $19 to $29 upon just the word Microsoft was suiting, Yahoo countered at $37, and Microsoft canceled the whole thing.
Not without some drama from Daddy Icahn, who was poised to stage a shotgun wedding until Yahoo somehow sweet-talked him out of it. Yang and Bostock would live to see another day of independence.
But this¸ this just makes them look like fools. It’s $12.45 currently. Microsoft’s offer made it $33 just eight months ago.
It’s no surprise Yahoo investors are already sweet-talking another Microsoft courtship. Mithras Investment fund, a small Yahoo stakeholder proposed a new deal yesterday as Yahoo stock crashed, offering up what-should-be-formerly-too-proud-to-sell Yahoo for $22 per share, a $2 billion discount.
This is kind of like when actresses decide to go topless long after anybody cares. (Meg Ryan, Julie Brown, Kristy Swanson, I’m talking to you—wait, Kristy’s cool, just you other two.)
If Steve Ballmer ever lusted after Yahoo, now’s the time to give her a pity date. Yeah, you’re lookin’ pretty good these day, Steve.
But Steve better work fast, before the Yahoo and Google deal goes through, and before Yahoo buys AOL (if they still can) and ruins it again.
