Culture (www.m-w.com): The customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, social, business or other group. Multiculturalism: “Adapted to diverse cultures.”
When you’re coaching someone whose culture is different than yours, here are some issues that can occur.
1. Misunderstandings about the logistics.
Two of the major areas in which cultures differ impact directly on the coaching relationship: use of time, and terms of a contract. Work out expectations on both sides. Does “call me at 1:00 p.m.” mean “at 1:00 p.m.” to the other, or “some time around 1:00 or 2:00 p.m.” When you sell a product for licensing, is the deal finished once the money’s paid and the contract signed, or are the points still up for negotiation?
2. Language.
You and your coaching client may not share each other’s first language but even if you do, accents and idioms vary from region to region, country to country. Most coaches are excellent with language, because we do our “change” work with language, and because we do so much phone work. With multicultural clients, listen even more closely to the nonverbals (inflection, tone of voice, pauses, silences, laughter) and check-in frequently to make sure you’re understanding one another.
3. Change.
Culture is learned, which means it can be changed, but we don’t always experience it that way. It’s a very emotional issue for most of us; consider all the wars we have had over religion. This can become an issue when the goal the client wants to achieve requires changing one of their cultural behaviors. The client may not think it’s an option, and of course it’s up to them, but they do have a choice. A Protestant converts to Judaism every day (culture), but there’s no way I won’t be 5’3″ tomorrow (determined).
4. Assumptions.
Over the course of my coaching career I’ve been assumed to be many things I’m not based on the other person’s assumptions about what culture I belonged to. The converse has also been true. Check it out. Not everyone who lives in Texas wears cowboy boots and talks with a drawl.
5. Mono-cultural.
If you have a client who is deeply ingrained in one culture and hasn’t been exposed to many others, it will be harder for them to see their way of doing things as a choice. Exposure? I still find this hard to believe, but on a cruise last year, someone from Scotland told me, as we looked down on the swimming pool crowd, “I didn’t realize Americans were so fat.” They mentioned some American television shows as their previous idea of what Americans looked like. Now they will go back to Scotland and talk about how fat Americans are.
6. Jumping to conclusions.
If you have your thinking cap on what’s wrong with #5? Are Americans fat? If so, are they exceptionally fat and if so, compared to what or to whom? How many of the poolside group on this cruise which originated in Italy were American? Are fat people more likely to be on a cruise? Don’t jump to conclusions with limited data!
7. Culture-awareness.
Being able to interact with people from other cultures requires own-culture awareness. Be aware of how you are a product of your own culture, and how this affects your behavior and values. As you coach people from other cultures, you’ll begin to see your own more clearly.
8. Fear of change.
Fear of changing something cultural can be exceptionally strong. Every group acculturates its own and it does this by pressure that isn’t always subtle. The punishment for straying is ostracism, and consciously or unconsciously this fear is in the back of our minds. We like to belong! When someone is considering changing in a way that belies their culture, they can have fears that are both realistic and not realistic. Coaching is good for exploring this!
9. Rigidity.
Flexibility is an emotional intelligence competence, and a requirement for multicultural coaching, as is empathy — being willing to understand the other person’s culture and see their point of view, and being flexible enough to adapt. If there’s an unresolvable culture clash, refer the client.
10. Unique individuals.
You, the coach, may be a “first” for the client (and vice versa) — the first coach they’ve ever talked to, or the first Floridian, the first Black person, the first Muslim or the first person with a doctorate. However, all coaches aren’t like you, nor all Floridians, nor all Blacks, nor all Muslims, nor all Ph.Ds. We are each unique individuals as well as members of certain cultures and sub-cultures.
Find the common ground.
Susan Dunn, MA, Marketing Coach,
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