Thursday, September 19, 2024

In Praise of Grand Theft Folly; I Swear Its All True

Oh, come on. Who wouldn’t believe a company that named itself “Rockstar” and produced one of the most graphically violent thugged out gangster video games ever? Would they lie to you? I don’t think so.

I don’t believe for a second that the fear of losing their well-deserved “M” rating on Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and possibly losing all that money could cause them to lie about the situation, so stop saying that!

I don’t care if you heard that players could choose a dildo as a weapon in the game. Doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t have anything to do with this situation, and doesn’t mean their just trying to save their butts.

See, they just said that the “Hot Coffee” mod, which unlocks some secret sexually explicit mingames and animated porno sequences, was done by hackers modifying the source code.

This Rockstar statement says it was “the work of a determined group of hackers who have gone to significant trouble to alter scenes in the official version of the game.”

So, there. That settles it. After the Entertainment Software Ratings Board (ESRB) finishes up their investigation they’ll show everybody that the interactive sex and the nude girls accessed by the mod were introduced by the mod itself and by really good hackers, and was not preexisting code hidden inside by bored Rockstar employees.

Look. There’s how they did it.

“Hackers created the ‘Hot Coffee’ modification by disassembling and then combining, recompiling and altering the game’s source code.” That’s what Rockstar said.

It makes perfect sense doesn’t it? Besides, I’ve seen the screen shots and ol’ dude in the video is fully clothed. But it doesn’t matter, because they didn’t do it, right?

Shut up with the “they’re gonna lose all kinds of money if they get an Adult’s Only (AO) rating” stuff.

lt’ll all work out fine, because the guys at Rockstar say it’s all some crazy hacker’s fault, and I believe them. They’ve done nothing questionable with their best-selling video game so far, right?

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