What did you think when you read the title? You probably thought I was talking about physical security, such as having bodyguards and high walls around your home.
What I’m talking about is, how secure you feel inside although lack of security inside yourself will likely impact how secure you feel outside.
The world is trying to tell us that “reality” is the things that happen around us, and that we are merely reacting to what happens outside. According to this reasoning feelings of insecurity are a result of outside forces. If you feel anxious or insecure the problem must be outside, hence people who feel insecure are trying to fix the problem outside.
So to go with this argument people do all kinds of things to improve their security. The most popular way of course is to make as much money as possible, because more money equals more security, right? Not necessarily.
This may be fine if the source of your insecurity is outside, for example if you have receive threats or if the area where you live is dangerous. In that case more money will help you to improve your present security or move to a safer area.
But what about if your insecurity comes from within? When you constantly find yourself looking through the window, expecting to see an intruder as soon as you are alone? How can you fix this outside?
I know what I’m talking about. I was adopted while I was still a toddler, by a couple who ended up with 5 daughters while searching for a son.
I have fond memories of my adopted father, who died not long after my adoption, leaving his widow to take care of 6 children. My life took a turn for the worse as I became an unwanted black sheep. I often suffered rejection which later projected itself as insecurity in my life.
My insecurities and fears were very real and were compounded by the fact that we had little money. My wife and I often had blazing rows because of the fact that she bought things that we needed. As far as I was concerned we shouldn’t have bought anything until we had “enough” money. I thought at the time that having more money would solve the problem, because I didn’t realize the problem was inside me.
I received the following letter from one of my subscribers in the Netherlands. She wrote to me and asked for advice on how to handle anxiety attacks that she was experiencing.
Hi Jimmy You know there is one thing I can get extremely anxious about, real anxiety attacks you can call it. I may have told you that I was an unwanted and abused child. My mother who was severely depressed passed her depression and anxiety about money on to me. It is the strangest thing but I can be completely o.k. and then all of a sudden the thought of being without money or not having enough money will hit me right between the eyes and no matter what I do to change my thoughts, I’ll be in the grip of a anxiety attack. The strangest thing is I am not a money person at all. As long as I can live the way I am doing now I am o.k. Now my income will drop after December when I turn sixty five and you can imagine the scenarios my mind can conjure up for me. I am aware of my thoughts and try and steer them in the right direction as far as possible, but this one seem to be too large for me to handle.
Now this lady’s problem as well as the problem I had didn’t have anything to do with a real lack of money. Rather it was an insecurity brought about as a resulting from of unresolved issues from our childhood. There are many people today who are having the same problem and wrongly think that if they just have lots of money all their problems would disappear.
The truth is that money doesn’t necessarily give security. If you feel insecure, clearly examine what you feel insecure about?
Is there a clear physical threat to your security, such as a dangerous neighborhood? If you cannot really pinpoint where your security comes from, it is likely that it is from within.
I suggested the following exercise to the lady who wrote to me about her anxiety. (If you or somebody you know suffer from anxiety they can try it too.)
Hi About your anxiety. I would suggest the following. You’re are trying very hard not to think about something and the more you try not to think about it, the more you think about it and when you find you cannot get away form it you put yourself under pressure and you become anxious which is the thing you don’t want in the first place.
Do this. Don’t try not to think about this thing. In fact think about it but with this difference. Change the focus as something good. This is how it works. Why don’t you want to think about it? Because you perceive it as something unpleasant, right? So the subconscious gets the message that this is something you’re afraid of, so as soon as you think of it it triggers a panic reaction.
Reason with your mind in a logical manner. Ask your mind who has died from not having money. Ask it what is the worst thing that can happen to you if you don’t have money. When you do this you confuse your mind. Say things like, “there are people who are worse off than you, but they haven’t died.” Also do this.
In the morning talk to yourself and say: “This morning I’m going to prove that I’m overcoming this fear.” Stop next to some homeless person and give them some money, or something which they don’t have.
Also ask the person, if not having money have killed them. When they say no, walk away and tell your subconscious, “you see I told you that nobody has ever died of not having money.”
You’ll find you will not believe these things you say to yourself, but don’t worry about that. The mind is a creature of habit and it will take a while before things start to change.
The key is to not become disheartened but to keep this up. When the thought of not having money comes, laugh about it. Tell others that you “have this silly fear” that you may not have money. You see these fears only have power over you as long as you don’t confront it.
As soon as you confront, and share it with others it will start to go away.
I know this will help. Do you hear the confidence? Somebody else might have said “hope it works” but I don’t because the mind is the same in all of us and it works in the same way.
Leonard J. Roos is the author of How to Unlock the
awesome power of the Universe. All of Leonard’s writings are
based on his own experiences. Visit http://www.successnow.info/
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