Saturday, October 5, 2024

Hillary’s Cleavage Hotter Than Harry Potter Online

And so it approaches, the final installment, the closure of the tale of a boy wizard. Just after midnight, the world will go quietly into its bedrooms and begin. The Deathly Hallows, and the silence that comes with are an ironic crescendo to the Internet and press hysteria of the past week.

Or should I just say press hysteria?

Online, Harry Potter hype seems rather warm from the user standpoint, even if there are something like 3,000 articles on the first results page of Google News. Where they store the books, I’ve heard, they have armed guards on duty 24/7 like they’re guarding Fort Knox.

And Scholastic is more than a little upset over the leaked photos of the book published online and distributed via BitTorrent. The company says it is copyright infringement even if the book was faked, and has digital detectives working to track down the perpetrator. Who knew your digital photo files carried the serial number of the camera they were taken with?

Canon knew that, and are looking to see if the leaker has had the camera serviced in the past three years.

So, while the press is hyping and the publisher is protecting its literary goldmine, readers seem to be avoiding Harry Potter news in the hours leading up to the book’s release. Perhaps it is to spare themselves any spoilers.

Pew says that while 44% of adults in households with teenagers say they or someone they know plan to buy the book, only eight percent reported following the news very closely.

Indeed, Harry Potter searches have barely made a dent in Google’s Hot Trends list*, with a crooked NBA referee, Tammy Faye Baker, and even Hillary Clinton’s cleavage (oh…my…God…can’t believe I just typed that phrase) peaking searcher interest than Potter.

To be fair, Potter does make the most appearances in the top 100, starting with the number 29 query: “does harry potter die“?

Other popular Potter searches, according to Google:

65. harry potter book review
78. harry potter theme park
82. barnes and noble harry potter
84. harry potter and the deathly hallows review
94. what happens to harry potter

But it sounds like most people don’t want to know yet.

In the meantime, searchers seem more interested in seeing the movie version of Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, naked, and finding out who Emma Watson is dating these days.

But if there are those that are jonesing to the point they may crack and burglarize the local bookseller, they can always check out all the fan sites out there, complete with fan fiction, some debating the innocence of Severus Snape at itrustsnape.com, or forever (at least, unless they’re proven wrong tonight) proclaiming that Dumbledore is not dead at BeyondHogwarts.com.    

 

*These stats fluctuate by the minute, but as of 5:00, they are what they are.

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