Vanity Fair released its annual ranking of the world’s most powerful people this week and our favorite executive trio was tied for third, just under Vladimir Putin and Rupert Murdoch.
We assume presenting Larry, Sergey, and Eric in Larry-Moe-Curly black-and-white grouping wasn’t the graphic designer’s subtle way of mocking them. The last thing you want is the three third most powerful geeks in the world staring you down. They’ll land that Google Jet right on your house and lob quadratic equations at you.*
Surely, though, the Googletroika have earned their spot among the world’s powerbrokers, taking over the online world in under a decade. Sometimes it’s hard to believe Google’s tenth birthday is Sunday.
As for the rest of VF’s list, it’s a bit of a head-scratcher. Putin recently earned his place at the top in a kind of grownup Baby Stewie kind of way, winning (for now, ya commie!) a game of global chess with certain occupying force precedents set by certain executives in other countries who wouldn’t participate in the ensuing bar brawl instigated by Georgia.
As always, sorry for mixing my metaphors.
Interestingly, though, you won’t see many other political powerbrokers on the list, especially from current American politics; Al Gore appears at number ten, likely because of his valiant fights against man-bear-pigs, just under Brangelina—yes, VF appears to be serious about this**—and Bill Clinton is edged out of the top ten, coming in at number eleven, his power limited lately to off-target tanking of the campaigns of presumptive Democratic nominees.
Other interesting choices include Stephen Spielberg (14) with his ability to make us believe in Indiana Jones again, Ralph Lauren (15) who can design a pair of chinos with one hand tied behind his back, Steve Ballmer (16) with the power to throw chairs, sweat, and throw corporate raiders at long-impotent giants, and let’s not forget Jay-Z (56 and less powerful than George Clooney but more powerful than Oscar de la Renta***), currently tapping the most untappable of pop divas.
Vanity Fair’s Top 10
- Vladamir Putin
- Rupert Murdoch (pronounced Muuurrrrrdoch)
- Sergey Brin, Larry Page, Eric Schmidt
- Steve Jobs
- Warren Buffet
- Jeff Bezos
- Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum
- Roman Abramovich
- Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt
- Al Gore
Some surprise appearances: Mark Zuckerberg (25), The Governator (33), Bono (36), Jimmy Buffet (97), Walter Mossberg (100). I’d also like to note, as a Kentuckian, two Bluegrass natives on this silly list: George Clooney, and Diane Sawyer (50). Go Cats.
*In all likelihood, there are vastly more complex equations than quadratic ones, just like there is likely more than one kind of lichen, spreadsheet, or ways to interpret the mocking of a “community organizer,” but I wouldn’t know of them.
**Then again, they do appear to be founding their own kind of orphanage.
***If I were making this up, you’d never believe me.
