Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Gmail Adds Drunk Sitter Feature

It’s not April 1, so they must be serious. Google has introduced a new feature to Gmail called Mail Goggles, designed to prevent people from drinking and emailing.

Are you one of those gushing, drunk-dialing, type-how-you-really-feel boozers? After a few rounds, do you have a habit of sending embarrassing emails on Saturday night you wish you hadn’t? Did the boss get a piece of your cloudy mind? That new girl get a confession of eternal love, devotion and “booty magic”

Mail Goggles will act as a kind of digital sobriety test, should email be your medium of choice. The service is active by default only late at night on weekends, but once enabled it can be adjusted to be active when you’re “most likely to need” Mail Goggles to double check if you really want to send that email.

Gmail Adds Drunk Sitter Feature

But it doesn’t just ask if you’re sure–of course, you’re sure, dagnabbit, sure you’re sure, you’re sure (burp)–it gives you a series of simple math problems to solve. Not just 2+2, but stuff you’re drunken monkey of a mind has to kind of think about, like 69-38.

Um, negative 20, right?

And it doesn’t give one problem, but five. If you get them all right and you’re still sure you want to send that email to your wife telling her she looks more like her mother every day, then Gmail won’t stand in your way.

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