Ah, spammers. Sometimes their creative wily ways come back to the bite them. And when it does, it’s always good for a laugh. Over at Boing Boing, a directory for wonderful things indeed, we are treated to a path that will lead us to a life free of the fear of prostitutes.
Boing Boing’s Mark Frauenfelder was tipped off by a reader, who “for reasons too complex (and embarrassing) to explain” stumbled upon a website dedicated to helping people overcome prostitute phobia.
“It’s obviously generated by some sort of algorithm that takes Google search terms and writes copy based on them. In this case “Prostitute Phobia” generated this amazingly funny copy,” writes the anonymous websleuth.
The website just goes to show you that with skillfully constructed verbiage (aka BS), all you have to do is insert the words like Madlibs, and the content will make semi-sense. Until somebody does something crazy like query about prostitute phobia.
The site is incredibly detailed about its promised methods for defeating your fear of prostitutes, including the definition:
1: prostitute phobia: a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of prostitutes, venereal disease, or stds , despite the understanding by the phobic individual and reassurance by others that there is no danger. 2: prostitute phobia: a strong fear of, dislike of, or aversion to prostitutes, venereal disease, or stds.
Although symptoms of the disorder may vary by person, common symptoms are shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea, and overall feelings of dread.
CTRN, the company providing the answer to prostitute phobia, says it can cure you in just 10 hours without the dangers of potent drugs often prescribed for the debilitating condition.
“The CTRN Phobia Clinic will train your mind to feel completely different about prostitutes, venereal disease, or STDs, eliminating the fear so it never haunts you again.”
It even comes with a testimonial from one person who successfully conquered his aversion to prostitutes.
“I’m glad I put you to the test because in three days I took back a freedom that had been gone for 15 years,” says one reviewer, who was recently registered as a sex offender. His mother must be so proud.
How much will this service cost you? At $1500 for the basic package, one way or another, you’re going to get screwed.
