I see it in the stars. Someone’s going to be laughed out of court-and soon. A Russian astrologer has filed suit against NASA claiming the impactor probe the space agency used to blow a football field sized crater into a speeding comet has “distorted” her horoscope.
The explosion, which occurred early Monday morning, created a cloud of dust and debris composed of clues NASA hopes to evaluate to shed light on the origins of the universe.
Ms. Bai was not happy about one of the most significant celestial accomplishments in human history and is asking for $300 million in damages for her “moral sufferings,” the same amount of the as the mission’s cost.
“It is obvious that elements of the comet’s orbit, and correspondingly the ephemeris, will change after the explosion, which interferes with my astrology work and distorts my horoscope,” said Bai in the legal documents, as reported by Russia’s Izvestia newspaper.
A Moscow district court spokesperson said the court would hear the case but did not release a date. NASA representatives in Moscow were unavailable for comment.
Bai claims a personal and familial attachment to Tempel 1, which was given a face lift at 23,000 mph by a washing machine sized impactor craft some 83 million miles from Earth.
Deforming the comet violated her “life and spiritual values” by desecrating a comet of significance to her life path and family history.
The comet was part of her grandparents’ courtship, she claims, as her grandfather pointed out the comet to her grandmother during a romantic encounter.
(As the reporter has a stroke refraining from crude but entirely inappropriate jokes, feel free to think of your own here-to give you a boost, try phases like “heavenly body” and “deep impact.”)
Scientists said the crash did not significantly alter the comets orbit and the explosion did not put Earth in any danger.
