There was a story in the news recently about a high school graduate who refused to shake hands with her principal when receiving her diploma. The principal was taken completely off guard by this unexpected behavior. As a result, he has so far refused to give the young woman the actual paper document.
When questioned about why she didn’t follow protocol and shake hands, the graduate said that she “just didn’t want to.” She was also quick to add that she was not at all concerned about whether she received the diploma or not since she had already been accepted to college. This incident raises any number of questions about good manners and appropriate behavior.
The main reason for following the rules of etiquette is to make other people feel comfortable and appreciated in your presence. Using appropriate behavior shows courtesy and respect for others. Certainly, refusing to shake hands was anything but a demonstration of courtesy and respect for the principal. Not only did the new graduate make the principal feel uncomfortable, she created an awkward situation for everyone present.
There is no acceptable reason for this behavior. The young woman was not concerned about illness or disease which some offer as a reason for not shaking hands. She didn’t have a physical problem that would have made a handshake painful or difficult. Her choice seems to have been purely self-centered. No doubt, this was premeditated since graduation events are usually rehearsed and everyone involved is apprised of the procedure to follow.
I have to wonder just what the graduate’s future plans are and hope that she is not thinking of any kind of career that in- volves working with people. It is hard to imagine anyone entering the workplace not understanding or appreciating the importance of the handshake as the fundamental way of establishing relationships with others.
Most 2003 graduates—whether high school or college—know that their skills, expertise, and knowledge will be contributing factors in their success in life. Those who understand and value the importance of building relationships with people will achieve the greatest success no matter what career they choose.
Lydia Ramsey is a business etiquette expert and the author of Manners That Sell. She conducts presentations for organizations that want their employees to be at ease in business situations and to represent them well in the marketplace. Visit her website:http://www.mannersthatsell.com and sign up for her valuable monthly newsletter http://mannersthatsell.com/signup/index.html.
Lydia Ramsey, author of MANNERS THAT SELL, keynote speaker and seminar leader, is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol. To sign up for more FREE business etiquette tips, click here.
