Okay, no boob jokes. And we’re not going to talk about a certain American Idol hopeful that overstayed her welcome just because a bunch of randy teenagers kept voting for her after naughty (and weird) pics surfaced on the Web. Absolutely not. We are, however going to talk about Kellie Pickler’s blue dress – and what was in it.
Why are we talking about Kellie Pickler? Because Friday’s afternoons are for funny, fluffy softball search stories.
The background:
When American Idol’s Appalachian never-seen-nuthin-but-North-Carolina twangy and sweet as pie southern belle Kellie Pickler showed up on stage last week to perform her new song “I Wonder,” nobody really cared. The song was boring and she’d been made over exactly like this steakhouse waitress that was a friend of my mom’s back in the Eighties – Juanita I think her name was – even wore the same makeup.
So I looked over at my fiancée last week as we watched this performance and I asked, “Does something look different about her? You know, besides the Flo-hair and the old lady makeup? I think her, um, her uh, you-knows are bigger.”
Ryan Seacrest, not really known for his humor, seem to think the same thing, asking her after the song if she’d bought anything with all that money she’d made. She said she bought “shoes.”
Well, Ryan and I weren’t the only ones that thought something was up. Yahoo’s Erik Gunther over at The Buzz Log reports that searches for “kellie pickler breast augmentation,” “kellie pickler implants,” and “kellie pickler enhancement” all spiked as soon as she left the stage.
When asked about it – like it’s anybody business!! – Kellie had “no comment.” Which of course, means “yes,” but really, it’s none of our business. Nope. Not at all.
Gunther says other girls are under suspicion too:
Out of (strictly professional) curiosity, we wanted to see if there were other starlets being searched on for their (possibly) cosmetically altered figures. Not surprisingly, we found searches on “ivanka trump implants,” “katharine mcphee breast implants,” “morgan fairchild implants,” and “kate beckinsale implants.”
Mmmmm, McPheever. See y’all Monday.
