In the coming year you may be thinking about going in a new and completely different direction! Many have already chosen to follow this strange and inviting path! Here are 10 ideas to help you to fail quickly at internet marketing on your very first try!
1) Don’t bother submitting to the search engines! Let them find you! Why not, their job is to find new sites and catalog them so that others can come and have a look. They’ll get to your site soon enough – maybe in a month, maybe a year. Maybe longer. But those search engine robots and spiders will attempt to find you! And when they do, your site will be listed somewhere within the first 200 pages using your desired keywords! Good enough for the really serious web surfer to find your site!
2) Don’t track your advertising! Run the same old ad over and over again in the same place. It doesn’t matter that only one person responded with a serious inquiry last month! The ad must be effective! It’s still running on the free classified ad sites, isn’t it? And of course, you’ve noticed that the number of emails you receive each day has quadrupled. Of course most of those emails are just selling get rich quick schemes and aren’t interested in your product at all! But still, you’re getting some response! So your campaign must be successful!
3) Join multiple banner exchange programs. Make sure there are many banners on your site! Then when people arrive, they can quickly pick and choose which banner they like best and click away – leaving your sales copy far behind! And for those who don’t like to wait for all of those graphics to download – be patient – the really serious ones will stick it out and wait to see your web site masterpiece!
4) Make sure you use a fancy background! Try this one – pink polka dots on a purple background. Put your sales copy in little white lettering and make sure it scrolls across the page as your web site visitor attempts to read it! I say “attempts” because soon they’ll be overcome by eyestrain – clicking away before they even realize what you were trying to tell them! No matter. Your site looks cool, anyway – it doesn’t matter that it’s hard to read your web site copy!
5) Don’t worry about adding new content to your site! Just put your site together and forget about it! People will surely find your site pleasant enough! It doesn’t matter that your hit counter seems stuck on “15” (13 of those visits – yours – the rest from a loyal friend and from your spouse, of course!). It doesn’t matter that the search engines love content-rich sites and so do web surfers, who quickly find these sites and bookmark them! Forget adding anything new to your site for at least another year or two!
6) Don’t bother answering email for several days (or weeks). Afterall, if people are really serious about buying, they’ll make a prompt decision and use their credit cards – never bothering you with their silly questions and comments! Who cares, anyway, if sales are lost and people start to wonder if you’re running a scam and they no longer trust or believe you! Maybe they’ll buy anyway!
7) Don’t bother publishing an ezine. It’s too much hassle. It will take so much of your time! And that subscriber base – it will take months to build it to any size at all – to where you can start charging for advertising! Let someone else make money this way – with a loyal list of subscribers – building trust and confidence – and selling their front end and back end products! Who needs a long list of names to deal with on a monthly basis! You can save a lot of time by just skipping this step altogether!
8) Get a free website that allows your web host to open a new browser window advertising their service every time someone visits your site. This browser window should refresh every few seconds – so your web site visitor can’t get rid of it by simply clicking it away – it keeps coming back. This will annoy many of your visitors. Others will see the new window and focus on your web host’s message – leaving your message far behind! And still others will realize that your site is a free site – and perceive that you’re really not very serious about doing business on the internet anyway and – you guessed it – click away and be gone!
9) Purchase one of those disks advertised in an email you got the other day. You know the one – it offers 1 million email addresses and claims the list has been cleaned and is ready for your use. You get the disk for only $29.95. What a deal! Then you start sending out your sales message. Soon the orders start to come in. Next come the flames and email bombs and finally a friendly note from your internet service provider informing you that your account has been “temporarily” placed on hold, while they research email problems on your account! And next you discover that your name and business are listed as spammers on several prominent anti-spamming sites. And then, of course, you’re faced with cleaning up this whole mess! What fun!
10) Add music! How about this: “The Theme From The Twilight Zone”! Why not? Web site visitors will think they have arrived there anyway! Who cares if a few (lacking in taste) leave because they don’t like your taste in music! The smart ones will realize it’s cool and stay and buy anyway!
So – in the coming year – if you really want to go in a completely new and different direction – you can try the course I’ve just outlined. Of course I can’t guarantee that you’ll completely fail at internet marketing (or even quickly) – but you’ll be well on your way!!!
Ron Knowlton is a former journalist and the founding editor at “Articles To Boost Your Success Online!” Subscribe to the Soaring Profits Success Ezine! Like a free monthly internet marketing course by email! Eight great lessons each month! Subscribe: http://www.Soaringprofits.com/spsubscribe. htm
