A full 50 percent of top-gaining searches this afternoon seem to be related to St. Patrick’s Day. At least that’s the way it was this afternoon. And before the end of this post, you’ll have what you need to participate!
Other notables from Google’s Hot Trends list included searches for the Bear Sterns situation, but more interest was shown in finding a March Madness NCAA basketball bracket. (P.S. Look for Kentucky to be an upset. Go. Big. Blue.)
But green was the color of choice among searchers, with 50 out of 100 keyword phrases showing some relation to the alcoholic’s favorite holiday.
Not that the Irish are big drinkers or anything. My friend Martin from County Cork has just one thing to say about that: “Stereotypes!” That’s all he can say between gulps, so give him a break and a fine toast.
To save some of the searchers a little trouble, I’ve decided I’ll address their questions all in one place, should they find me along their journey.
Four leaf clover: A semi-mystical plant used as a distraction and/or impossible mission for children in order to get them out of the house long enough to make more children.
Leprechaun: What Garth’s deathly afraid of. A cousin of the Faerie, which may have been all along Little People that the cruel regular-sized people of the world made up stories about and ridiculed for centuries. Now you’re joining in and aren’t you proud of yourself?
Irish Quotes: Here’s one from my Irish grandfather: “Screw you!” Just kidding. Here’s a real one: “His ass would make Harold a Sunday face.” Translation: Harold’s pretty ugly.
Blarney Stone: A trick they play on American tourists. Whatever you do, don’t put your lips near it.
Why do we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day?: What else is there to do in March?
Irist Toasts: Ah, there’s one worth searchin’ for. Here are a few of my favorites:
May God grant you many years to live, for sure he must be knowing, the earth has angels all too few and heaven is overflowing…
To live above with the Saints we love,
Ah, that is the purest glory.
To live below with the Saints we know,
Ah, that is another story!
Here’s to a temperance supper,
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with
And me not there at all!
Here’s to being single
Drinking doubles
And seeing triple
Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear;
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
but a darn sight more sincere!
May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold pint– and another one!
May I see you grey and combing your grandchildren’s hair.
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
