Thursday, September 19, 2024

CORRECTION: Mozilla Did Not ‘Abuse’ Oats

Yesterday, we published an article that mentioned Mozilla’s creation of an Oregon crop circle in the shape of the Firefox logo. Someone involved in the project contacted us, appalled at the idea Mozilla had “abused” 45,000 square feet of oats. The representative insists that no oats were harmed in the making of the crop circle.

Senses of humor, however, were brutally slaughtered.

From yesterday’s article, which also perused George W.’s search records, explored orangutan love, made a bad pun about Poles, and accused Microsoft of using LSD:

When geek-marketing, anything X-Files can only help. Mozilla recently abused 45,000 square feet of oat crops in Oregon to produce a Firefox logo crop circle.
This, it would seem, crossed the line of acceptable elastic uses of the English language, and was not one little bit funny. My apologies. The representative seeks to clear up this matter immediately (edited for spelling, but not for silliness):

I would like to inform you of an error in Jason Lee Miller’s blurb about the Firefox crop circle. No oats or fields were “abused” at all. We received permission from the landowners and all oats were pressed and flattened with love and care.

We made sure to tell everyone that this was a legitimate crop circle with the support of all parties involved, and that no damage was done. The farmers are still planning on harvesting the crops and they enjoyed us being there.

Unfortunately, it seems Jason missed that important detail of the project.
Some time ago, after a severe misunderstanding about kittens, I was told I needed to work on my snark, as “it wouldn’t even qualify as quality ‘snark’ in most circles.” If someone knows a good snark school, I’d greatly appreciate the information. Because if a kitten article can cause someone to tell me I look fat in my jeans, then I’m in dire need. Besides, I look fat in all my clothes.

“Leave being funny to people who are actually funny,” she said. Ouch, man. But just to make amends, I take it back. Jason Fried is NOT mean to kittens.

But perhaps the worst accusation flung my way came after an article about rabbis and lesbians on Google Video, which, according to one reader, implicates me in an anti-Jews- for-Jesus conspiracy. He was also upset that I would link to “some psycho” and his “lair of porn.” Now I’ve met Nathan Weinberg, and he didn’t seem psycho to me. As to the level of his interest in the erotic arts, you’ll have to ask him.

Just for the record, I like Jewish people. And I like Jesus, too.

So that brings me back around to those incensed readers who believe I’m not funny in the slightest, a poor wordsmith, or just mean. I have to say I’m disappointed. If you can’t link me to a major religious conspiracy, then you’re just not trying hard enough.

No oats were harmed in the writing of this article.

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