Saturday, October 5, 2024

Childbirth 2.0: Have Blackberry, Will Twitter

Who needs a birth certificate when you’ve got Twitter, Flickr, and Ustream to document the blessed event? Who’s ready for Birthing 2.0?

Before we continue, I’m really, really sorry.

Remember those old Disney cartoons? The ones where fathers-to-be paced outside the delivery room with a handful of cigars? Yeah, well, those days are not just gone, they’re nearly, if not for the fossilized celluloid evidence, virtually erased.

Today, because of Wi-Fi, Web 2.0, and portable devices, not only is Dad in the delivery room, he’s bringing everybody in there with him.

Though a lot of hospitals will tell you to turn off your cell phone for fear of interfering with sensitive equipment – that may have the same justifications airlines use – it seems Wi-Fi is not a problem. 

Elle Marie Saarinen isn’t the first to be Twittered into the world. Fathers have been Twittering since early Spring, Blackberry in one hand, digital camera in the other, while the wife…glares at them from her bed.

What? She was going to be glaring anyway, right?

She is a pretty thing, Baby Elle, as evidenced on Flickr, and her father, Paul, chronicled her nativity on Twitter, right up to her final in utero moments. He also lifecasted the event in digital video on Ustream.

(Caution: I have not viewed all the videos, nor are they clearly labeled, but as far as I know there is nothing graphic, nothing to send you to the vasectomy table, at least, but I could be terribly, terribly wrong about that. It was a cesarean, by the way.)

Paul’s wife, Annamarie, apparently allowed him to keep his thumbs after detailing the common emissions of pregnancy in the weeks before (God, Jenny would kill me for that). Twitter posts are known for their brevity as there is a character-per-post limit, but the fast clip of the final minutes adds a nice urgency to Paul’s written cadence:

It’s a girl 7lbs., 21″. 11:06 PM August 02, 2007 from web going in for c section be back in a bit. 10:09 PM August 02, 2007 from web

They’re starting the Petocin drip again. She’s at a full 6cm now. 09:43 PM August 02, 2007 from web

I even getting a little tired. Need more soda and coffee. 09:31 PM August 02, 2007 from web

Baby had some decelerations in the heart rate, but has recovered. 09:17 PM August 02, 2007 from web

Doctor came in to check out the contractions and dilation. 09:14 PM August 02, 2007 from web

They just put a new monitor in “you know where” to better measure the contractions. Dilated to 4cm 08:37 PM August 02, 2007 from web

That was probably meant for more intimate friends, but we’re chronicling history here, and he did sort of post it on the Internet for everybody to see.

Wouldn’t it have been interesting if humans had these capabilities for other births throughout history?

BethlehemJoe:

Shepherds just got here. They stink worse than the donkeys. 9:45 PM December 25, 0000 from web

It’s a boy. A little small for the Son of God, I think, but the halo gives him a way. 8:30 PM December 25, 0000 from web

Holy smokes! 8:25 PM December 25, 0000 from web


TomKatRulz:

Man, I wish Katie would quit whining. 3:49 April 18, 2006 from txt

I already apologized, didn’t I?

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