A family member called us earlier this week. After a few minutes of general family gossip and the usual, he said, “Let me tell you why I really called.”
Then he told us that he wanted our opinion on a new business deal he had come across. His actual words were something like this — I know you know a lot about this kind of thing, and I want to see what you think. I want you to look at this and try to tear it apart for me. Find out the problems, if there are any.
We talked a few more minutes as he told us that he had been to a presentation earlier in the week. His friend had issued a similar challenge to him – come to this and see if you can help me find any weaknesses in the business.
Well, we went for his bait just as he had done earlier in the week. We promised to drive -not across town, but 200 miles to attend a meeting about a new business opportunity.
Now why did we do that? We already have very full plates and are successfully working an established business. My husband and I are both in agreement that we do not want to tackle anything new. Now why did we agree to go to this particular meeting?
Well, for one thing, he is a relative. But I think that the real reason we responded as we did is that we were flattered by his asking for our honest opinion. Now, he may or may not actually want our opinion. He may have already made his own decision about his involvement. However, we still responded to his challenge.
And I think that is the key to it – he issued a challenge to us. Can we find anything wrong? He also very quietly flattered us and showed that he valued our opinion. Who doesn’t respond to someone asking for an opinion? We all want to express our opinions. He was just offering us an opportunity to do so. He has not asked us to join him in this business venture. He did not even ask us to consider joining him. He merely told us he valued our opinion.
What can we learn from this experience? Everyone wants to be appreciated and valued. When we can express appreciation and value to others, they feel good about themselves and want to be helpful. Often getting someone to just take a look at your business is all you need to do, if you are truly genuine in your approach.
Being sincere and genuine is the key. Folks spot a phony from a long way off. But when we master the art of genuinely appreciating others and their strengths, we can easily form alliances that will last for years.
Everyone has specific strengths. We merely need to look for them and recognize them honestly and with enthusiasm. In so doing, we forge genuine relationships with others.
How many times have you received an e-mail or a letter or perhaps even a phone call from someone who said, “I have the perfect business for you” or “I have the answer to all your problems”?
What was your response? Mine is to wonder how someone can have answers for someone whom he doesn’t even know.
Building the relationship is all-important. Once we know a person, we may be able to offer genuine help. Until then, we can only ask questions. And we can’t really ask for someone’s opinion until we have a relationship with that person.
Building relationships takes time. Just as it takes time to till the ground, plant seeds, tend the garden, weed it, and feed the plants to produce a bumper crop of tomatoes or anything else, so too must we tend our garden of business prospects.
How does your business grow?
Jan Wallen is a Personal/Professional Coach who enjoys
helping other people achieve their goals and maximize
their potential. To subscribe to her success news letter,
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