Friday, September 20, 2024

Self Love for the Self Employed

Self employment usually begins as an act of self love. You choose to create your own business in order to do what you love doing, express your talents and gifts, set your own hours, be creative, reach your financial goals, and enjoy life more.

But with the commitment to your dream comes immense responsibility, and you may gradually slip into behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that look more like self-disregard than self love.

For example, you may find that you:

  • Don’t allow yourself adequate time to rest and refresh.
  • Work long hours, skip meals, and cancel social events.
  • Ignore your exercise program, meditation, or journaling, because you can’t squeeze them into your busy schedule.
  • Set unrealistic expectations for yourself to “do it all”.
  • Feel guilty when you do take time for yourself because of all that must be done.
  • Blame yourself with negative self talk when your business is struggling or doesn’t give the results you hoped for.
  • Relentlessly push yourself to do more, better, or different.
  • Forget to acknowledge and celebrate your successes.
  • Put Self Love Back Into Self Employment!

    Acts of self love will sustain you, making the way to your goals easier and more fun. For long term business growth and sustainability, it pays to be more like the tortoise than the hare, setting a pace to stay in the race, while enjoying the journey. Here are 4 aspects of self love that will help you stay in the race.

    1- Acceptance. Accept the fact that you have needs for rest, relaxation, and good self care. Accept the fact that there are 24 hours in a day, and then set reasonable expectations for yourself within that reality. Accept mistakes. Accept successes. Accept random events and a lack of control over some things. Accept the challenges that come with being bold and courageous. Accept help when needed.

    2– Self Care. Write out actions that you know are best for you in each of the following areas: Health, Spirituality, Relationships, Environment, Finances, Fun. From what you have written, create a self care plan that includes such things as diet, exercise, sleep, seeing a doctor, reading, journaling, meditation, budgeting, saving, financial advice, time in nature, time with friends, travel, dance, listening to music, better lighting, eliminate distractions, etc. Drop the guilt feelings and implement your plan as an act of self love.

    3– Commitment. When others take time for themselves to go on vacation or to a movie or need to study, you cheer them on, and respect their boundaries. When you want to take time for yourself, you may feel guilty or have trouble saying no to others’ demands. Self love is setting good boundaries without feeling guilty. Self love is committing the time and space to stick to your self care plan. Paradoxically, the consequence of doing this is that you will be stronger and have more energy to give to others.

    4- Compassion. When you feel that you are struggling, or when things seem to be falling apart and you feel it’s up to you to fix everything, take some time to regain perspective and offer yourself some comfort and understanding. Mistakes are part of the learning curve and it helps to remind yourself of your good efforts and accomplishments up to now. Let yourself off the emotional hook long enough to relax and refresh so that you have the necessary energy to problem solve and be creative.

    That’s self love!

    Brook Montagna coaches individuals, partners, and groups to excellence in their personal and professional lives. Her free newsletter, Flying Solo, is dedicated to connecting self employed people with resources and tools for preventing burn out and creating enjoyable success.

    www.mindfullifecoach.com

    brook@mindfullifecoach.com

    760-479-1868

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