What do coaches do? How do I choose the right one for me? In this relatively new field, the consumer has lots of questions.
As a coach, it’s much easier for me when the potential client says, “Can you help me with a relationship?” or “Can you help me build my practice?” or “Can you help me figure out what I want to do with my life?” than to be asked such a general question as “What do you do?”
What coaches do is help people.
WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
If you don’t know what you want the coach to “do,” say so. Here’s a conversation with a potential client. (I use Dr. Phil’s marvelous question a lot.)
Jennifer: I don’t know WHAT I want to do. I’d hire you if I knew what I wanted, but there’s no sense doing it now. Coach: So you haven’t been able to figure this out on your own so far? Jennifer: No. Coach: What have you tried? Jennifer: Thinking about it, asking people, researching on the Internet, reading self-help books… praying. Coach: And how has this worked for you so far? Jennifer: [laughter] Point taken. Coach: Want to try something different?
WHEN YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT
You can get a very good idea of what a coach “does” by looking at their website. We also name ourselves “Relationship Coach,” or “EQ Coach,” or “Great Sex Coach,” or “Success Coach.”
However, look at it this way. A good relationship requires emotional intelligence, satisfactory sex, and success. Great sex requires a relationship, success and emotional intelligence.
Personal or career? The coach’s specialty may be “relationships,” and you’ll be thinking “social,” but aren’t some of your major “relationships” work relationships that impact your success in your career? You don’t leave “you” when you leave home in the morning. The way you relate is the way you relate, whether it’s your husband, the grocery store clerk or the president of the United States.
Almost any site or coach you would go to regarding sex, for instance, would being with Communication, not “attach part A to part B.”
A coach who can only give technique is leaving out the most important part. A coach who can only give theory is leaving out the most important part. For the most benefit from coaching, you need to know what, and also how and also why.
And why is that? Because if you ask someone how to attract someone at the party tonight, and they tell you “wear a red dress,” then you’ve learned to wear a red dress to a party. But if they tell you “wear red because it will attract attention to you,” then you have the theory: if you want someone to pay attention to you, you need to do something that will attract their attention; i.e., take action. This is broadly applicable to all areas of your life. It would also be broadly applicable if your coach asked you, “What do you think will attract someone at this party?”
Therefore, I suggest you take a look at the testimonials on a coach’s website. I’d look for a combination of – “You helped me turn my life around” (broad) + “Thanks to you I doubled my income last year,” (specific) and “Your encouragement and compassion .” (style and EQ).
These 3 kinds of statements cover important areas. You want a coach who (1) treats you well; (2) gives you specific information; and (3) coaches you in such a way that what you learn applies to the specific situation and is also broadly-applicable.
A BUSINESS EXAMPLE
Suppose your coaching desire is to “get more business”. One coach might give you a marketing plan, including “make presentations, advertise.” Another coach might recommend what Angela Booth ( http://www.digital-e.biz ), a business writer, recommends in her article, “Powerful Presentations Build Your Business.” “You’ve set up a meeting with a potential client. You’ve dress appropriately, your shoes are shined. You’ve got your portfolio and your business cards, and you have an idea of what you want out of the meeting. In a word: you want business. This is the way 95% of small business people approach meetings.” She goes on to say, “When you’ve landed a meeting, always make a proposal. Have a clear idea of what exactly you want.” She then goes on to make the list for you. On the list are specific, cognitive things, such as “make it 10-15 minutes long,” and general, emotion-related things, such as “control your nerves.”
To give a successful presentation you need both. If your coach isn’t giving you both sides of the equation, you’re not getting your money’s worth.
WHOLE YOU, WHOLE PROBLEM, WHOLE-BRAINED COACH
If you’re left-brain dominant, you like to deal in facts and parts. If you’re right-brain dominant, you like to deal in concepts and wholes. Both are necessary for most situations, and the more you can develop both sides of your brain, and get them working together, the better you can communicate, solve problems, relate, create, AND GET THE BIG PICTURE BUT ALSO BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THE STEPS FROM A TO B THAT WILL GET YOU THERE.
This always involves all parts of your brain – addressing emotions as well as thinking, seeing patterns but being able to break it down into manageable parts, and vice versa. If you can’t “control your nerves,” the most beautiful presentation in the world won’t work. If you’re calm and self-assured but have nothing to say, that won’t work either. You will get more business when you make more presentations (specific) that are well-organized (thinking) and have an emotional appeal (EQ), while you manage your own emotions (EQ).
Susan Dunn, MA, Marketing Coach,
http://www.webstrategies.cc. Marketing consultation,
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