When I was growing up, my family had dinner together every night. This was an important time for all of us to catch up on the day’s events, to share ideas and values, and of course, to learn good table manners.
My mother took this part of her maternal job seriously, and my brother offered her countless opportunities to share her wisdom. Dinner table conversation was punctuated with “Richard, get your elbows off the table,” “Richard, don’t talk with food in your mouth,” “Richard, don’t chew the ice,” and other admonitions. I didn’t have a chance to make too many mealtime mistakes because Richard made them first, and I learned quickly.
The family dinner is a rarity today. Working parents, single- parent households and non-stop after-school activities have taken their toll on the evening hour when parents and children spent quality time together. It is difficult, if not impossible, to teach table manners and other civilized behaviors while the parent is maneuvering the SUV through heavy traffic and the children are using their fingers to eat dinner from a paper bag.
The result is that many people are reaching adulthood without a clue about good table manners. The recent college graduate and the rising executive are now facing the prospect of business meals with countless unanswered questions.
If you are worrying about which fork to use, how to conquer the cheese in the French onion soup or where to put your napkin, you can hardly concentrate on the business at hand.
Here are just a few tips from my latest publication, Table Manners That Sell: 85 Tips for Dining for Success, to help you be at ease during the business meal.
Playing the Role of the Host/Hostess:
1.Choose a restaurant where you know the food and service are good and the atmosphere is conducive to conducting business.
2.Make arrangements ahead of time to take care of the bill.
3.Confirm the time and place with your guest either the day before the meal or that day.
4.Give your guest the prime seat-the one with the view.
5.Make suggestions about what to order.
6.Wait until everyone has ordered before you begin discussing business.
Playing the Role of the Guest:
7.Ask your host for suggestions about what to order.
8.Stay in a moderate price range.
9.Remember that the person paying for the meal decides when to talk business.
10.Send a handwritten note the next day to thank your host.
A lot of business is conducted over meals. The way you handle yourself can determine your career—how far and how fast you climb the corporate ladder.
Don’t leave the details of your table manners to chance and risk losing the job, the promotion or the contract.
Lydia Ramsey, author of MANNERS THAT SELL, keynote speaker and seminar leader, is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol. To sign up for more FREE business etiquette tips, click here.
